My Story
On 30 January 2020, my life changed forever. My husband, Chris, had been undergoing tests for what we thought were bowel polyps. After a CT scan, and while waiting for a colonoscopy, we received a call asking us to attend an urgent appointment with a lung consultant. Together, we sat in that room and were blindsided by the news that Chris had lung cancer.
Just two days later, during his colonoscopy, we learned he also had bowel cancer. It had already spread to his liver and lungs. Stage 4. Incurable. Chris was 48. I was 47. We had two young children. Our world changed in an instant.
But grief had been part of my life long before this. I lost my papa at 16 and my nana at 24, both suddenly to heart attacks. My nana was more than a grandparent to me, she was my world. Her loss shaped me deeply. I have also known the grief of divorce, the heartbreak of IVF, abusive relationships and the pain of life not unfolding the way I had hoped.
Then came Chris’s diagnosis. What followed was three and a half years of caregiving, treatment, uncertainty and survival, all while the world entered the Covid pandemic. Chris had to face chemotherapy alone. We shielded throughout his illness, isolated from family, friends and the support we desperately needed. Our children were home schooled, and I was juggling work, parenting, caregiving and the emotional weight of what was coming.
From the moment Chris was diagnosed, I began grieving. I just did not know then that it had a name. Anticipatory grief.
During those years Chris was, in many ways, living whilst dying. At the same time, I was still holding grief professionally. Supporting team members, walking closely alongside a colleague and her family through their own profound loss, all whilst carrying my own.
Grief was no longer something I stepped in and out of. I was living it. Breathing it. Holding it everywhere, both personally and professionally.
Alongside this, I was navigating my own health challenges and the changes that come with midlife and menopause. My body was carrying more than I knew how to name.
As I cared for Chris, I slowly began losing parts of myself. I felt lost, isolated, scared, angry, resentful and invisible. Some family and friends walked away from us too, another layer of grief I had not expected.
By the evenings, when the house was quiet and everyone else was asleep, I began turning back towards myself. I started exploring somatic practices, nervous system work and healing modalities, not as a career path, but as a way to survive what I was living through.
Those late night hours became my lifeline.
They helped me regulate, process and make sense of the trauma, fear and exhaustion I was carrying every day.
Chris died in August 2023.
A month later, I retired from my 28 year career in policing.
In such a short space of time, everything I had known had shifted. My role. My identity. The future I had imagined.
As a retired police officer with 28 years of service across CID, Homicide and Public Protection, I have spent much of my life supporting victims, survivors and families through trauma, abuse, sudden death and profound loss. I do not use the phrase trauma informed lightly. My understanding of trauma was built through specialist training and decades of holding space for people in some of the hardest moments of their lives.
I created The Grief Lounge, my podcast, community and coaching space, because I wanted to build the kind of support I had been searching for in my own grief.
Through all of this, I have come to understand grief deeply. Not just as something we feel emotionally, but something that lives in the body, the nervous system and the soul.
That understanding shapes the work I do now.
Work with me
First, I want to say how sorry I am that you find yourself here.
Grief is not a place any of us ever want to be, and if you are here searching for support, I imagine life feels heavy right now.
When my husband died, I remember searching endlessly for a place where I could feel understood. Somewhere I could speak honestly, feel seen and have my pain witnessed without judgement. I know how lonely grief can feel, especially when it seems like the people around you do not fully understand.
That is why I created The Grief Lounge, my podcast, community and coaching space. It is the space I was searching for in my own grief.
Grief coaching is not therapy. It is not about fixing you, analysing you or asking you to move on. It is a space where your grief can be witnessed, understood and supported in a way that honours your own pace and your own story.
Alongside my lived and professional experience, I am a certified coach and grief educator, trained by grief expert David Kessler, and in Grief Movement with Paul Denniston, alongside EFT, Reiki and Sound Healing.
I do not use the phrase trauma informed lightly. My understanding of trauma was built over nearly 30 years in policing, through specialist training and years of working closely with victims, survivors and families navigating profound trauma and loss. Much of my work, particularly within historical abuse and public protection, was rooted in holding space, deep listening and supporting people through some of the hardest experiences of their lives.
My work is holistic and grounded in the understanding that grief is not just something we think about. It lives in the body, the nervous system and the soul.
The grieving process is deeply personal, sacred and vulnerable.
Trust and connection matter.
Whether you are navigating fresh loss, anticipatory grief or carrying pain that feels too heavy to hold alone, I am here to walk alongside you.
Together we can find ways for you to carry your grief with more love and less pain.
Grief has taught me that life is rarely one thing or another. We can miss someone deeply and still feel joy. We can be surviving and falling apart at the very same time.
Sadie - The Grief Coach
Education and Certifications
My approach integrates a variety of healing modalities that I've trained extensively in:
Certifications
Sadie holds the following certifications;
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Dharma Coach
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EFT Level 1 & 2
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Sound Healer
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Certified Human Design Reader
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Level 1 & 2 Reiki
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Grief Educator
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Grief Movement Educator